Why Reading is So Important to Me

Sweater, Hat, Loafers, Jeans

You guys have seemingly taken an interest in my book recommendations over the last year. So, I wanted to give a backstory on why reading is so important to me. It’s an interesting route, but in the very end it comes full circle.

So here’s the thing. I wasn’t always a bookworm or bibliophile. As a child, I had a lot of eye and visual processing issues. I was in constant eye therapy, wore glasses with bifocals, even rocked an eye patch from time to time in therapy (which was super fun). This affected my reading. Don’t misunderstand me, I could read just fine and was bright little third grader. Reading was just a lot harder for me. I read slower, lost my place a lot, and had to work tirelessly to keep my eyes uncrossed and focused. I had a tutor and a developmental optometrist that helped me to eventually overcome this. But while other kids were cementing their love of Lemony Snicket and Judy Bloom, I was hiding the fact that books felt like a stressful, drawn-out eye exercise for me. After a few years of eye therapy, and constant love and encouragement from my parents, I no longer had these problems (still have the glasses though. ha).

Despite the fact that my eyes were better and reading no longer was a challenge, I carried the same stress I associated with reading into my teens. I’d only read what was required of me in school, never just for fun. One night in the library in high school, I picked up The Lovely Bones and just began to read. I didn’t start the book with the intention of forcing myself to read, it was more that I paused and had a moment of realization. I’m not that little kid anymore, maybe reading could be fun. 50 pages became 100, 100 became 200, and before I knew it, I was finished. I had become completely lost in the story, enamored with the characters, and mystified by the writing. Whatever noise was in my head began to fade, and the only thing at forefront of my mind was Susie Salmon, that haunting safe, and if her family would ever find peace in the wake of her absence. 

This was the book that shifted my relationship with reading from a negative to a positive. It felt as though the only two things in this relationship were myself and the book, not a classroom filled with opinionated and pernicious third graders. I started to love reading, and slowly but surely it became a part of my life the way it is for most people–I would read when there was time. It wasn’t until years later in graduate school in 2013 that I routinely sought out time to read. I was studying Art History and concurrently developing anxiety. Reading became two-fold for me: I could explore the curiosity my studies sparked and I could focus on the pages in front of me, instead of the stress in front of me. I saw what this escape provided me and it was peace of mind. This was a pivotal period of time for me where reading went from something I’d do when I had time, to something I would make time to do.

Fast forward to present day, I have GAD, or what’s better known as Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I work with doctors and professionals to manage it and am choosing to keep the details to myself. But a large part of managing my anxiety lies in routine and self-care. My self-care means putting purposeful energy and time into my life to make it less daunting, more manageable, and the best it can be. A large part of this is accomplished through daily reading. When I was working on tangible ways to relieve my anxiety, I just continued reaching for a book. I would find myself focusing on the complexities of characters instead of myself. It became a productive hiatus from the stresses building up in my mind and I would feel simultaneously stimulated and relaxed.

What began as a form of escape, has now become a form of personal development. With most books (let’s be real, some are just duds), in forms big or small, I am shaped in some way. I have discovered things about myself through various characters, realized places I want to go, and things I want to accomplish. Over the last three years, but this year in particular, I started reading a lot more during my commute by train and, more so, due to a better understanding of myself. I have commuted for almost three years now, but something about the last year really solidified the important position of reading in my life.

I read because I enjoy it, it helps relieve my anxiety, and it enriches my life by educating me, encouraging curiosity, and allowing a little magic in. I read every day and in any way, print, e-book, and audio books alike. But it is because I found that when I do, I am less stressed and feel more whole. They say things in life come full circle. Reading was something that caused me anxiety as a child, and it is the very same thing that helps subside it as an adult. The point in all of this isn’t whether or not you read, it is about finding something that helps you, that inspires you, and that betters your frame of mind. As you can see from this timeline, things like this don’t necessarily happen overnight. So do not stress if you are searching for a little daily form of fulfillment and haven’t gotten there yet, it will happen. If you’re like me, maybe it will take a while, if you’re quicker than that or already have it figured out, amen! For me, it was a journey ending up with countless books and a very full heart.