I’ve had some extra screen-scrolling time on my hands, and it got me thinking about comparison. I’ve seen a lot of bloggers touch on this topic, and for good reason, because I think it is an important one. Oh, comparison. In the Insta-world we live in today, whether we like it or not, comparison is inevitable. We scroll and we scroll, seeing all the things others are sharing. Whether it is a designer bag, a beautiful house, hardships or successes, we absorb their visual story, and, consciously or subconsciously, sometimes compare it to that of our own. I found that comparison, for me personally, was really affecting my growth and my confidence. When I would compare the bodies of peers or influencers to mine, I would feel like I wasn’t enough or didn’t measure up.
If you tend to compare yourself to others often, be easy on yourself, it is normal and it happens. After a lot of introspection and going through my body positivity journey, I found that the only person I can really compare myself to, is me. In order to be the best version of myself, whatever it means in that moment of struggle or success, I remind myself that I am doing just fine on my path. I found that comparison, even though I fall victim to it from time to time, has little real estate in my life. Because with comparison, I am simply less happy.
Instagram in particular, should be a space of inspiration, connection and creativity, not a place that makes you doubt yourself and question your own path. I may sound like a broken record, but unfollow people who do not inspire you or spark happiness! Instagram is a space of inspiration, not imitation, you do not need everything someone shares in a photo in order to be inspired. I know from a blogger’s perspective, with every post my intent is to inspire, not pressure. If you feel moments of pressure, self-doubt or inadequacy as a result of looking at a certain account, unfollow! I have done it many times myself, and I am not ashamed to admit it. Even if someone is being real by sharing the good, the bad, the happy and the sad, they are still choosing what they are and aren’t sharing (it’s everyone’s individual right to do so!). My point is, there are so many components of someone else’s life we do not see. At the end of the day, we are not live streaming every move and decision we make.
Be happy for others and have compassion for others. When someone shares a new Gray Malin print hung above their fireplace, being unhappy or putting yourself down won’t make your walls any more colorful. Be happy for them they found something that brings them joy. Have compassion for others who share their sufferings, while learning not to minimize your own. It is not easy to put your hardships on the internet for the world to see, so have compassion for others and be kind. Someone else’s challenging situation doesn’t mean your obstacles aren’t there and aren’t real. But, still try and recognize what they are going through, and not compare it to what you are going through. These are just your obstacles and those are theirs. Know that you are enough and you are wonderful just the way you are.
Lift yourself up and celebrate all the good things you have done. You deserve it! Self-love is important, and you are allowed to recognize your accomplishments, while you might be facing some hard things simultaneously. Someone else’s feed doesn’t have the power to make you feel like a lesser version of yourself. It is easier said than done, but if you create an Insta-space that only has room for inspiration and joy, and remind yourself that what you see in a post is not the entire picture, you will find more fulfillment and less intimidation in the Insta-world. Remember it is not a competition, support your community, everyone has ups, downs, smiles and frowns. Your path is yours and that is what makes it beautiful. There is enough sunshine for everyone, but especially for yourself!
P.S. This dress is so amazing and you can read my review on it here!
You’re so right, I have found that just following the accounts that make me feel inspired and happy rather than self conscious or even jealous has made a huge difference. During a devotional book we were reading in my bible study a few years ago, a quote has stuck with my group since then. We remind ourselves that “we are not equipt for others’ blessings or trials”. When I find myself in the comparison game, I just try to remind myself that God gives each of us much different blessings as well as trials, and often, I wouldn’t want to go through what that person might be dealing with behind the screen!
It’s so hard not to compare ourselves- this post is right on time. I often have to step back and reevaluate. I’m thankful to have friends like you to keep me grounded.
Such an inspiring and thoughtful piece. Your words ring very, very true, in any situation – be it real-world personal, insta- personal, work or every different kind of relational situation – in all and any aspect of life. Thank you for sharing. You have inspiring strength.