4 Body Positive Things I Learned This Year

Lilly Pulitzer Dress c/o

Another year in the books. From last July to present, I have learned more about my body, both mentally and physically, and have been continuing my body positivity journey. When I was looking back on this year, it kept jumping out to me how nearly every day I had a conversation with one of you about body acceptance and body positivity. Each and every one of those conversations pushed me to grow in the best way possible. As I get older, I find myself more at peace with myself, more able to help others, and happier in every sense of the word. As I celebrate my 29th birthday today, I wanted to share a few things I learned in the last year about my body positivity. 

Even though I am body positive, it is work you maintain daily, and it takes soul searching and self-love, it is not something you wake up and decide to be one day. I continue to grow, evolve and learn new things, and I have my fair share of insecurities too, we all do. But, I embrace my body and I love it, because I spent far too long doing the opposite, and since I am no longer clouded by societal ideals of what beauty is, I have spent the last few years in the best personal place I’ve ever been. If you aren’t familiar with my body positive journey you can read more here. 

Helping other women with body positivity, regardless of their size, is one of the main reasons I am able to continue steadfast on my own journey. 

In the last year, the community that Simply Elsa has fostered is one that I am most proud of. As silly as it sounds, inspiring women to feel great about themselves, at any size, kind of feels like my calling. I firmly believe everyone deserves to embrace their body, have style, and be happy. It is not an either or situation. I realized that this ongoing conversation is something that helps me stay on track, this small but mighty purpose I have found helps me to be the best and healthiest version of myself. Having open conversations and working together to build esteem can become contagious. I have a lot of you to thank for that. 

Some people are curious as to how I can be larger and happy, and are not necessarily seeking guidance, help, or want to have a productive conversation. Being body positive does not require justification. 

I think for some, the concept of being larger and being happy is very foreign. They want to know how it is possible to be larger and be happy at the same time. I used to think I owed people an explanation as to why, but the truth is, I don’t! This is very different than when I have conversations with someone who is struggling with their own body, or when someone wants to have a positive chat (very different)! For a long while, I felt as though I needed to talk through or explain that I was once a size 6, suffering, and miserable, and that today I am a 16 and finally happy. While that helps to explain my story, which is important, the only thing I really need to tell curious people when asked that question is: I am curvy, I am plus size, and I am happy. Being larger and being happy does not require justification. Remember that is the only thing you need to share! If it confuses other people, that is their problem. 

I am unlearning the discomfort I experience when I am the largest woman in the room. Even though I have confidence and I fully embrace myself.

Even though I am body positive, there are some visual things that are hard to ignore. Whether I am shopping, at an event, or even out to dinner with friends, I tend to notice that I am larger than everyone else. This one is usually hard to explain, and although I love and embrace my body, I wonder, are other people thinking this? Will they not see my confidence or spirit, and only see my body? The one thing I have unlearned this year, is that discomfort does not need to be given any life. Most of the time, people see the energy you give. The life I gave that discomfort takes away from the life I could be giving my self-esteem. I see myself as equal to conventional body types, and I no longer allow the fears of feeling different to affect me having a nice time.

It is okay to have nuances, it is okay if my definition of body positivity does not perfectly match mainstream definitions, because the person it matters most to is myself. 

There are some misconceptions that to be body positive means you love your body so much you shout it from the rooftops everyday no matter what. That is one definition, but that is not the only one. The root of the movement is about peace, acceptance and self-love for marginalized bodies. Something I have learned is, that it is completely okay to have your own body positive nuances and viewpoints. The important thing is that you embrace yourself, accept yourself, and love yourself. I learned that it is okay that I am insecure about my arms and chest, I still love them, and you bet your bottom dollar I wear all the sleeveless tops and dresses around. But it’s okay that I feel that way towards them, it does not make me any less of an advocate or any less body positive, it just makes me human.

Remember that everyone is welcome here, everyone is welcome to have conversations with me about body positivity, what is important is that we respect each other and help one another. That is what community is all about!

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